about the average....

14.8.08

the good, the bad and the ugly (True Story)

Recently I was diagnosed with a serious kind of disorder, thats the bad news. The good news is that it is being documented with my name, the UD Syndrome.
The diagnosis revealed that I suffer from a verbal variant of Fnord. This was pointed out by one of my dear friends, who almost begged me for a mention in this post for his great discovery. For a layman, its the uncontrolled urge to reply to any query with irrelevant information which is in most of the cases the opposite of what was asked.
Then I thought and thought and thought....what could have caused such a naive kid (=me) to become like this.
And finally, a small LED blinked inside my head and I found the root cause of the problem. It was me being asked obvious questions in excess. You see, initially one keeps on answering them as normally as he can. But after the critical number of such questions, which is still to be found out, a switch in the questionee's mind blows away. He then becomes affected with the UDS. He then has this urge, this canny urge to reply to people who ask questions that are so obvious that even Niels Bohr would have answered them.
In the second stage of this horrendous disorder the person starts answering to even the valid questions with any random stuff, which mostly, nah always, is dumb in normal case and geeky in some extreme cases.
So far only 3 people(of which one is fictional) have tested positive for this syndrome. Please contribute to this research by sharing your experiences. You can also help by sending in generous amounts of money in favour of "UDS Trust".

Oh, by the way, ugly in this title is just a mention of another dear friend of mine, who has used up tens of packets of Fair and Handsome just to find out that it doesnt work...

24.7.08

go green guyz

hey guys, the words "global warming" have become as common to all of us as "sex" maybe.
some of my friends have started out on a mission to help tackle this issue.
support us for a green future...

Green 1.0

26.6.08

and the award goes to...

The UD award for the Best Website Name for the year 2007-08 goes to,
Aloo Techie

14.6.08

reality check #1

Pimpri is undubitably the Detroit of India, but I wonder if its name should have "Pimpli" or "Pimply" (for some obvious reasons...). Anyways, if you have any Chinese friend, then ask him to pronounce ""Pimpri" and see what you would get...

11.6.08

Pune, the city of ???

I today complete my 25 days in this city; havent seen all of the city as of yet, but have come to know one thing for sure....70 percent of the city is owned by someone called Shivaji and 25 percent by a man called Sai, and when I say this I am including restaurants, offices, building, residential apartments, railway platforms, even night clubs and desi dhekas...

The Inscrutable Local Trains

Who hasnt heard of the great indomitable local trains of Mumbai and the comfort they provide to its' commuters. You have got to trust me on this, Pune is not much behind Mumbai in this regards. The Pune local trains are on their way to clinching the position of the best public transportation system(at least in the world, cant say about what ETs are upto) from Mumbai.
The amount of people waiting to catch a glimpse of the train at the platform can give a rough estimate of their popularity. Actually these people come to catch the train only, but well, the trains are so so damn famous that they get full from the crowd from the previous stations only and you only get a glimpse.
And what to say about the facilities you have on board. You get everything except space to keep both of your feet on the base( did you just say sitting.. ). Being inside the train, you get to know how Adnan Sami's car seats would have felt before he lost all of his fats.
I dont understand one thing, why dont they write a statutory warning outside the train saying: "Heart Patients May Not Board The Train. People with height less than 5feet may no even think of boarding, unless accompanied by 2 persons with height above 6 feet."
And one more beautiful thing about these royal carriers is that they even have a First Class bogey, for which you have to pay 20 times the ticket price and for no extra facility or features except that they have padded seats, or have had padded seats some time in their lifetime.

ps: I hope the pune locals are not operated by the Shiv Sena or else I am doomed....

3.5.08

into the distance....

end sems begin tomorrow, its may, its really hot, the time's running out, not much time left, lot to do, what to do...mayday...mayday!!!

p.s. vicky bhai: "miles toh cover kar liya, lekin wahan jaake so gaya"

2.5.08

India: 2010

i guess almost everyone, at least in india, has heard about the book india: 2020, kalam's vision for a future india.....
in the past few years i have had many close encounters with the government-run offices and people from MNCs and i can clearly see what india is rite now...and trust me, the situation isnt improving....
at present india is a typical incompetent country....all the competent people are going out of india, and the rest are getting into foreign companies' indian offices....
so basically, whoever is left gets into the indian govt offices and the rest is known to everyone....

p.s. : discontent is the first step for improvement( i hope it works )